Achi news desk-
41 minutes agoAuthor: Marzia Jaffer
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Girls are taught from childhood to bow their heads and apologize or say sorry. ‘You are older, please apologise’. Even if there is no mistake, one is asked to apologize because that girl is going. You don’t even get a chance to present your truth. Regardless of who commits the mistake, the girl is advised to apologize directly.
Research conducted by the University of Waterloo, Ontario, Canada indicates that women apologize more than men. Men don’t say sorry quickly and easily. Men don’t apologize because they feel it will make their image weak.
According to researchers Karina Schumann and Michael Ross, women apologize more than men because they take the same offense or mistake more seriously than men. The biggest reason for this is that girls have been taught since childhood that there is no harm in apologizing. This practice also explains the difference in the personality and behavior of men and women as well as the social environment.
the truth of conservative thought
Ivy Wong, Associate Professor of Gender Studies at the Chinese University of Hong Kong, says that most women consider it better to say ‘sorry’ in order to maintain peace. Keeping other people’s feelings in mind, they don’t want to hurt them. . Therefore, when there is a dispute, women try to settle the matter by saying sorry. They feel that the matter can be closed by apologizing.
If girls are brought up the same as boys, they will become strong.
A difference in parenting style is the reason for apologizing
Wong says parents teach girls to bow from childhood. They are considered vulnerable. When girls grow up, some people actually start to believe that they are weaker than boys. Parents allow boys to open up in practice. As a result, they have a license to do anything, just because they are boys. But if girls also get the same upbringing as boys, then they will become strong and apologizing will not become part of their personality. Parents set restrictions because of society’s fear. This difference in the way girls and boys are brought up is the reason for apologizing. Gender discrimination in the upbringing of sons and daughters is called sexism, which is the root of this discrimination. Gender is divided into two parts.
Wong says society sometimes falls into the trap of benevolent sexism. He appears to respect women, but the truth is that his mind works to show the weakness of women. If we want to bring about a positive change in society then we will have to give equal upbringing to boys and girls. When there is a conversation between boys and girls, it will be easier to learn and understand. It will also become clear how boys and girls see, understand and evaluate the same issue and situation. In their view, solutions to problems can also be different.
We spoke to some women who work in the corporate world, it seemed that the things said in the research were proven true…
Our perspective is completely different
Priyanka Ramteke is the owner of a digital marketing company. She says that a few years ago, when she was working. She had a male colleague. Priyanka and him were in the same situation. But according to Priyanka, there was a lot of difference in the way they worked. We both had completely different attitudes towards colleagues and problems, and the way we wrote emails was also different. For example, if we had both written an email to inform the team about rescheduling a meeting, the format of the email would have been different. My emails would be ‘I’m sorry’, and ‘I’m sorry’, while my male colleagues would be one-liners without the word ‘sorry’ in them.
The boss started taunting me
Riya Saikia, who works as a team leader in a company, says I prepared a proposal to make some improvements at work and sent it to my superior and I got the reply after six months. Instead of saying ‘sorry’ for such a delayed reply, my superior took a dig at me. Riya said, any professional is expected to apologize for responding late. But my career experiences show that men have more difficulty saying these simple words than women.
I began my answer to the question with an apology.
When asked, Rumpi, who works as an operations manager in an IT company, said, “Just today, I had a meeting with my new team. In the meeting, I started answering a question by saying ‘sorry’. My answer was, ‘Yes’ I’m sorry, I don’t have that information at the moment.’ I could say, ‘Sure, I’ll find it and tell you.’ But today I realize why I apologized that day. Rumpi says that this happened in the office but often this has happened to me in the family too. When I talk to someone on the phone and at the same time the doorbell rings. happened, I apologize.
Saying sorry over and over is a sign of weakness
Psychologist Yogita Kadian says that the habit of repeatedly getting embarrassed or apologizing shows a person’s weak side, known as impostor syndrome. Because of the fear of society, a person expresses his opinion with apologies.
Yogita says that the roots of this thinking often lie in one’s personal history. Seen from time to time in a job, school-college or gathering. Imposter syndrome was discovered in 1978 by researchers Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Ament Imes. A person suffering from this syndrome underestimates himself.
Women’s lives depend on conditions
For centuries, women were told every day to develop some good habits for their own well-being, such as marrying on time, having children, keeping husband and family happy, looking beautiful, fulfilling everyone’s needs throughout life, Treat your own less, hold on. own up to your mistakes and make it a habit to apologize. This is the reason why apologizing and saying sorry has become a habit for the so-called half of the population, ie the second sex. So, raise your daughters as sons so that in the future they will not have to apologize to anyone again and again.
