Achi news desk-
THE King’s call for kindness is an excuse for asking everyone to lend him ten pounds, it has emerged.
Far from being a sincere request for the nation to take care of each other, a message pre-recorded by the King for the Blasphemy Thursday service is only being broadcast to silence the public for a shameless request to hit a tener.
King Charles said: “I extend the hand of friendship. And I rub my thumb and fingers together in that ‘pay me’ gesture. Gimme.
“I may look like I have endless wealth, but all these palaces and castles cost a fortune to maintain. So if you can dig deep and throw us a tenner, we’d really appreciate it. I am due a large payment from the civil list any day now.
“You wouldn’t deny a sweet old man some spending money, would you? Especially after all I’ve been through recently. Mum dying, all those hospital trips, Andrew. A tenner would really give my reign a much needed boost. And if anything you still owe me for the coronation bank holiday.
“Look, my face will be on all the money soon enough and I’m pretty sure I mean it’s mine anyway. I could send the guards round to take him by force if I wanted but I’m being nice.
“Also I need to crash on your couch for a few weeks while my bedroom is redecorated, how cool is that? That.”
