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As a software developer who would like to work for a startup, what should I look for in a company so I know it’s legit? If I’m putting a lot of work into a product, I want to know that it’s at least for a legitimate company and founder – not just another person with an overdone app idea who doesn’t know nothing about the technology world. Sarah C.

If you are learning the starting game, the best bet here is to go later. Focusing on a rapidly growing pre-IPO company that has raised money from world-class investors and has positive market buzz that will go public within the next two years.

Then don’t believe any of it.

Network your way into three of the company’s team members on LinkedIn or through your network. Get three coffees virtual or IRL. Ask them to tell you about the culture: If they learn; if the company is really growing; and most importantly, whether they respect and, ideally, admire the leadership.

Keep looking until you find this vetted opportunity.

That’s a systematic, logical approach. But that’s not the only way to go. You could throw it all out the window.

Find a company where you believe in the mission. One where you fall in love with the product or service. You may already be a high LTV customer or a power user. Check your credit card statement and your app’s home screen for ideas. Your passion for the mission will make it work for you for some time, even if the company doesn’t work in the long run.

However you get there, once you’re in for a year or two, you’ll learn.

You may have to change horses. That’s okay.

When you do, you’ll know more people, you’ll have more insight, and the path on what to choose next will be clearer. Heck, you might even spot an inflection point and meet a co-founder that leads to starting your own company.

It’s like dating.

You probably won’t marry your first love – but you might. If you don’t, your opinion will improve iteratively. And the good news is that unlike marriage, you can change your partner every few years. (However, what I’ve found is that the most successful people professionally, and the ones that generate the most wealth, are more like 5 to 10 year streaks.)

Trust your intuition. Follow your heart on the mission or the product. Then don’t trust yourself. Study the market. Use the product. And make at least three references off the list outside of who you’re interviewing. Read every Glassdoor entry.

And then jump!

You will be fine.

Do you think you could have shared your mental health conditions publicly BEFORE you were successful professionally, and still been successful? Or was it the fact that you had already had professional success that allowed you to be open? Zack

No, I don’t think we could have parted before we succeeded. I wouldn’t have had the courage to do that, and I was afraid it would limit my career.

Then again, it was almost seven years ago that I had my I-can’t-deny-them-this moment with my Bonobos colleagues and investors. From today, I think it is becoming more possible to be honest about mental health. I hope we can move to a world where I could have been more open, sooner, at least selectively with my leadership team and my board.

Some entrepreneurs ask me when to tell their VCs about the mental health challenge or mental health diagnosis they’re struggling with. I always say the same thing: at a breakfast meeting, four months after you close the round and hit your numbers. No one cares about your neuro-diversion if you’re performing – and most VCs actually know enough to know that most founders have more going on than meets the eye.

With your team, I think it’s doable, even now. Maybe especially now. The truth is, they know. They know you’re dealing with things because they’re around you. And the vulnerability you share in disclosure will increase their respect for you. More importantly, it will give those team members the space to share their stuff with their colleagues, and possibly you too, and bring their full selves to work.

Wouldn’t that be cool?

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