Achi news desk-
The Federal Government has announced a bold new funding package aimed at ensuring that gender-based violence is no longer a hot media issue.
“We are confident that this package will ensure that we can shift the onus away from male voters, while at the same time being big enough to make anyone who complains sound unreasonable,” Prime Minister Anthony Albany told a closed press conference.
“The women of Australia have shown us that they’re not going to sit still unless we do something. So we’re going to make a big show of doing some of the things we’ve already promised like legislation for paid DV leave, but none of you remember us saying that so it’s new right? “
“We’ve been careful to place all the blame and consequences on things like porn and extremists, anything but the men in your life who are actually acting violently. Plus, we’re announcing an exciting new program where we’re making state governments do all the work to reduce domestic violence, while we take the credit In the headlines. We call it the ‘gold standard’.
“Unfortunately, we did not manage to reach the funding of one billion dollars, because we had to give Israel a few more missiles”
The funding is expected to be announced the day after the federal election.
By Shane Murphy (Shane donates his writer’s fee to Where You Wearing)
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