Achi news desk-
JESUS ​​has confirmed that his last temptation was to escape sacrifice, live as an ordinary man and raise a family, but the temptation before that was banoffee pie.
The revelation comes after the unveiling of a fifth Gospel in caves near the Dead Sea, which details the Messiah’s struggle to have dessert following the Last Supper.
Religious scholar Denys Finch Hatton said: “The scroll, which is an unfinished gospel said to have been written by the apostle Simon, records that the group agreed to go out for a meal and, in fairness, to split the measure.
“Matthew and Mark wanted to go to a tapas bar but the rest had voted, who said a tapas bar was just a fancy version of spiked tea. And great was their resentment.
“Judas betrayed Jesus twice that night as everyone agreed that they would have a first course and a main course, but when the waitress came to her with the dessert menu, Judas ordered the profiteroles even though they cost 12 shekels.
“Jesus was sorely tempted by the banoffee pie, but in the end all he wanted was coffee. According to subsequent portraits of the crucifixion he was buff, so likely thinking of his figure.
“Then there was an argument about who had eaten what, whether drinks were included and Simon talked a lot about the unfairness as he was intolerant to gluten and therefore hardly ate anything. And lo and behold, the wailing continued until the very taxi.”
