Achi news desk-
Earlier this month Cricket Contributor Michael Bradley wrote a piece after Matildas star footballer Sam Kerr allegedly vomited in a taxi and was involved in a dispute over the price. Cricket reader and former taxi driver Steve Cornelius got in touch to offer his two cents. This is his response.
Sam Kerr’s act of “throwing his belly” in a taxi should not be underestimated.
Between 1978 and 1991, I was a taxi driver in Sydney — first full-time for several years, and then as a part-time weekend worker to supplement the family income. Overall my experiences as a cabbie were interesting, at times enjoyable, and often mundane. Inevitably, however, there were several incidents which were clearly unpleasant, and which remain in the memory to this day – occasional verbal abuse, minor assaults, actual and attempted fare evasion, and, yes, talders in the cab (two of them).
The next time you have an upset stomach or have imbibed some intoxication, I suggest you carry out the following experiment:
- Go to your car;
- Please don’t try to drive it;
- Instead, sit in the back seat;
- Then CHUNDER, as much as you can (fingers down the throat are a good method of inducing vomiting if necessary);
- Make sure your vomit hits (at least) the seat and the floor (bonus points for hitting any part of the driver’s area and front passenger’s area);
- If anyone has accompanied you to the car, make sure you hit them too;
- Now, clean up the mess.
Take particular note of:
- The cleaning materials and equipment needed;
- Total cost of cleaning;
- The time taken;
- How long before the stench eventually disappears.
That should make it nice. Be sure to let me know how it goes.
For the cabbie, it’s up there in the “C-Range” (C for catastrophic). First, they have to clean the smelly cab. This effectively means taking it to a car wash so professional cleaners can do it right, using disinfectants, scented sprays and wipes, and long-lasting, good-smelling stuff. That takes time to find, especially late at night, and costs a fortune.
Just as significantly, it deprives them of working time, which destroys a day’s wages. A disaster, any way you look at it.
To add to the experiment I’ve outlined above, try charging your great height by holding one hand over your mouth at the moment of release. That way, streams of vomit will likely force their way between your fingers and quickly spray in many directions.
I speak from experience. Not like the vomit, I hasten to add, but like a vomitee. I’ve seen this done several years ago in a friend’s car on the way home after a big night on the turps (coincidentally, in England). One of the back seat passengers managed to hit all four other occupants including the driver, all seats including the driver’s seat, and all windows except the rear one behind him.
To assure you of my bonafides, if (from the back seat) you manage to hit the inside of the windshield and send me a photo of it, I’ll buy you a Mars Bar.
