Achi news desk-
Misogyny has become mainstreamed in our deeply patriarchal society. Dare I say, for its primary agent in our country, men, it has become second nature. But it is magnified when celebrities and influencers reinforce the loop of gender stereotypes through uneducated utterances and actions in their futile quest for opinion, following and ratings with deadly, real-world consequences for women in general.
Our society promotes certain stereotypes to the extent that they can be called racism based on gender. Such behavior not only deprives women of their constitutional rights as equal citizens but can also lead to violence. The Pakistan Demographic and Health Survey 2017-18 states that 28% of women in Pakistan experience physical violence as early as 15 years of age. After marriage, women can experience spousal violence, including 26% emotional violence, 23% physical and 5% sexual violence. The ongoing shock of such violence and limited avenues mean that 56% of women do not tell anyone or seek help about what they are experiencing. Another 42% justify their husband’s beatings.
So pervasive is this culture of misogyny and assault on women that it transcends the barrier between the real world and the virtual world. In its latest Cyberharassment Hotline Report 2023, the Digital Rights Foundation said that in 2023 women were the most reported victims of online harassment, at 58.5% of complainants. Technology Facilitated Gender Based Violence (TFGBV) is on the rise and has evolved over the years, with increasing complaints of privacy violations by women, whether through the use of photo editing software or generative artificial intelligence to manipulate images to produce intimate images that are not consensually (NCII) to abuse/harass and even blackmail women in digital spaces.
Where it intertwines in our everyday lives is when women hear one of the worst sentences: “A woman is a woman’s enemy”. The attitude that breeds such statements quickly descends into another insulting statement: “Women are not, and cannot be, equal to men”. The slide down this slippery slope quickly spirals into certain expectations of women on how to dress, talk, act and live their lives, that is to be demure, stay at home, not vocal and ideally not being part of a productive workforce. Such expectations are popularized through our media and entertainment industry, which labels women who dress up in certain ways for working women as “bad women”.
Unfortunately, in our society, misogyny or being misogynistic is not limited to men; women are also conditioned to internalize misogynistic stereotypes to the point where they either agree, laugh or become a party to bash women.
The worst among them are members of Pakistan’s infotainment industry, the media houses producing and representing news and entertainment. From TV anchors to actors, all contribute to the prevalence of misogyny and the commodification of women.
Actors, both men and women, play to the socio-religious gallery, adopting the persona of someone they are not. In their quest to increase their influence and following on social media and remain relevant, they end up making some statements or gaffes – some unintentional and some not so unintentional. Since their understanding of issues related to sex is weak, they tend to catch themselves through silly statements, or as I prefer to call them, “foot-in-the-mouth moments.”
Such “foot-in-mouth moments” give the ratings, views and publicity. And as far as they are concerned, all publicity is good publicity – isn’t it? Let me remind you of a few such moments:
What makes a ‘good wife’?
Shehroz Sabzwari and his wife talked about their concept of what makes a ‘good wife’, likening it to a nanny who follows her husband, picks after him, and should be aware of customs sleeping, eating and her husband’s clothes. .
My body, my married aunt
Faisal Qureshi, a veteran actor, TV show host and vlogger, continues to unapologetically dig women. His latest dig was about the blessings of having restaurants in Ramazan because he was unhappy with his wife’s less than perfect cooking skills and how torturous it was to put up with them. In a vlog called “Mera Jism Meri Marzi Wali Aunty“, he continues his tirade to say how lucky those wives are who are good at cooking. His wife simply laughs in the vlog.
Advice for women to keep husbands faithful
News anchor and Instagram relationship counselor Syed Ali Haider (Syed.ali.haider5) advised in one of his reels that wives should show motherly affection towards their husbands so that they remain loyal to them.
‘Husbands should be treated like babies and pampered so he doesn’t cheat. Her Instagram is filled with other relationship advice, such as: “A mature woman is an investment, and an immature woman is a bill.”
Need I say more?
Abuse of a female lawmaker
Sobia Shahid, a Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) MPA from Khyber Pakhtunkhwa and now a member of the national assembly – was abused, shamed, threatened with rape after she waved her wrist on the first day the new event. Khyber Pakhtunkhwa provincial assembly. Her actions were aimed at reminding Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) followers of their party’s founder, Imran Khan, who was found guilty of keeping expensive watches from the Toshakhana cheap through undervalued appraisals before selling them at a higher rate in the market. . Not only was she physically abused on the floor of the house, she was also victimized online. Most of the comments online justifying the threats ranged from: “He asked for it” to: “She made stupid comments/actions, so she paid for it”.
Men can get away with most abuse, from verbal jests to fist fights, but women are held to different standards.
It’s fine for men to be aggressive in their political choices and expressions, but for women – no way, that’s daring to take a few steps too far outside the “permissible boundaries”. Such double standards are rooted in deep gender biases, which, at this point, can operate subconsciously.
A woman spoke at last; news anchor Maria Memon stepped forward and condemned the incident on Instagram, “female MPA acted like a stupid goose, but does that mean rape threats ke aap Deena short kar dein? (that you start threatening them with rape? ) Ignore the bloody provocation.”
But he went on to express, “Sobia ne theatrics kar ke nuisance value ban ki hae aurbuski parti ne iss per aurat card khala hae” (Sobia’s theatrics created nuisance value, but now his party will play the ‘woman card’) – this , however, is an internal misogyny. He eventually deleted his post after receiving backlash.
‘I wouldn’t say I’m a feminist’
Actor Sarwat Gilani said in an interview: “I wouldn’t say I’m a feminist – I’m an independent woman, but at the end of the day, I feel like I need someone who will take care of me who can i depend on it.”
She added, “If we talk about feminism in Pakistan in particular, they think that men have nothing to do with it. However, many men help move feminism forward because they support women, supporting them, uplifting and encouraging their women to take a step forward.”
Surely the actor needs to do some homework to understand concepts like women empowerment and feminism.
Encouraging hatred of women for a score?
Disgraced writer and playwright Khaliul Rehman Qamar is now a top-class mystery in the entertainment industry. It leaves no opportunity to be disrespectful or to incite hatred towards women.
Women and insects
Veteran actor Adnan Siddiqi’s latest episode comes from the “You are close to me“fame.
While appearing on Nida Yasir’s show, an insect started bothering the actor on stage. The fly’s innocent but somewhat disturbing activities prompted him to say that women are like flies – if someone goes after them, you can’t catch them. But if you ignore them and stay still, they will voluntarily come towards you and sit/drop by you.
Of all the statements our Lord of the Flies could have made about the fly, he chose one – despite the pleas of the concerned female host – that reflected the confused brewing in the actor.
As our society evolves, there is much we have to unlearn, especially in terms of gender stereotyping, tendencies towards violence — encouraged by impunity — and access to empowering rights to be equal citizens in Pakistan. Our infotainment industry is a major stakeholder in this transformation, being an influencer and darling of the media industry in general.
The reason to highlight all of the above is not to cat-call members of the infotainment industry but to suggest that these individuals are of significant influence to educate themselves about the condition of women in Pakistan. Although they make up around 50% of the population, they are denied the right to exist, to be safe, to be educated, to have access to reproductive health, to be an equal part of the workforce, and above all nothing, not to be abused and harassed physically or virtually. .
Gender based violence is increasing every day. We live in times where brothers kill their sisters – be it Qandeel Baloch, who wanted to live life on her terms, or Maria, who was raped and then killed by her father and brother. We live in a time where the public discourse has been deliberately twisted to draw attention away from women’s rights and the abuse/harassment they face even on women’s day by focusing on linguistic sloganeering such as some Aurat March. Digital or technology-facilitated gender-based violence is on the rise every day, and such irresponsible statements by celebrity influencers may gain their opinion, but the damage they do to their credibility, how they make an impression on the thinking of those who follow them and their negatives. an impact on a long, hard and far from crowded fight for women’s rights.
